To Post or Not to Post

I got our updated home study copies in the mail today. I also got the “all clear, see ya next year” letter from the radiologist about my mammo from last week. I also got an email from my BIL about the letter that the ILs had to redo for us (again), we should get it in the next day or so(then I’ll send it back to FL for apostilling). All (but one) of my adopting friends are approved, submitted, or have gotten travel dates in the last week or so. These are good things.

I know they are good things, and I am thankful for all of them. I am.

What I’m not thankful for is the fact that I haven’t heard anything about our I171h. I’m also not thankful that we STILL need a place to have our sale because the second place that we have asked replied with a big FAT no today. Along with that there are a couple of smaller things that are troubling and frustrating too (not getting email/messages returned, etc). I’m not thankful for the pressure to get our dossier submitted (I can’t submit it till we get the 171h, and *I* have no power over that  ) I’m not thankful for this feeling of helplessness, sadness, and fear that I have had for the last three days that is completely overwhelming me.

I have prayed. I have cried. I have tried to sleep it away. I just can’t get rid of it.

Of course, I sign in to post this (I type it in Word first so I have spell check), this song starts... it's been in my head for the last week... especially the line about "you have to face the clouds to find the silver lining"...