Still thinking... hehe

I haven’t really done much of anything today. I like days like that though. I ran the usual Saturday errands. I left the kids at home though because of the weather (stormy) and the fact that Olivia is finally getting over her cold/allergy stuff. I got the last few “little” things that I had on my list for our trip. Silly little things like travel sized fabreeze, some disposable bibs (for Timothy for the flights), the power adapter, a couple of small flashlights, just a few convenience things.

This evening, my new friend Megan came over for a bit and scrapbooked. I started working on my Thank You cards. I babbled a lot! hehe We have our adoptions in common(they are going to a different country, but the paper chase is the same, etc), so it was nice to chat about that. We also have our faith in common, so it was nice to chat about that too. She asked me if I had noticed a change in my relationships since we started our journey. Sadly, I had to say “Yes”.

I have noticed a change in a couple of close relationships actually. It’s hard some days to understand why, what did *I* do that has caused these changes? What can I do to restore the relationships? I don’t have answers for these questions. I can only pray that God has a reason for the distance. I don’t know that there is anything that *I* can do, or if it is even me that is the problem for these people.

Maybe it’s my restored faith(I slipped away for a little while, but God never left me, I left Him but this journey that He has set us on brought me closer to Him, and back to where I have needed to be). Maybe it’s the fundraising, and the fact that we have openly asked people to help us raise the money to help us bring Timothy home (being able to provide for a child once they are home is completely different than having the huge amount of money that is required to actually get him here). Maybe it is that I am finally settled into my “comfort zone” with my marriage, my kids, our life (things were rocky for a few years, but that is a whoooole other blog!).
Maybe it’s that they don’t think we have any “business” bringing another child into our family (our children are all very involved in our decision to bring Timothy home and are all looking forward to the day he is finally here). Maybe it’s his Down syndrome. Maybe… maybe… maybe… I just don’t have the answer…

I can only pray that God will show them that this is the path He has had for us. He has been planning this since the very beginning. Timothy was meant to be our son. Is he the picture of perfect health? I don’t know. Will he grow up to be an independent member of society? I don’t know. Will he ever move out of our house? Not a clue. None of those things matter to me, or to us, his parents. I will do everything in my power to shield my children from any prejudice that they might have to face. I know I can’t be there all the time, but I’m going to give them the tools that they will need, and the love, encouragement, and direction that God has given to me so that they can make the right decisions in life. None of my children will ever be loved any less because of what other people think.

I am sorry that there are people who have chosen not to be a part of this journey with us. I’m sorry because they are missing out on a blessing that could only be from God. He has blessed us more than anyone can ever imagine. Someday perhaps those people will see, and will accept our family, and the decisions that we have made, are making, and will make for our family. Until that day, all I can do is pray, and miss the relationships that we had.