I need to quit thinking...

Tonight while I was doing the dishes is the first time I really had the thought that Timothy might not be coming to our family. We have followed the path that we feel that God has led us on, with the fundraising, and the paperwork, and the timeline (ok, that one has been the hardest!)… Today Carla, our social worker has been working hard to get our Home Study reworked so that it meets the new requirements that the USCIS has asked for, as well as fixing a couple of other smaller things with the wording so that it will be accepted in Timothy’s country.

We’ve done all of this work, all of this praying, and all of this hoping… what if that one man at USCIS, the man in charge of our I600a petition decides that it’s not enough? What if we don’t get the I171h that we’ve been hoping and praying for? What if we get a denial instead? What will happen to Timothy? How will we tell our friends, and family, and supporters? How will we make Olivia understand that her Brother won’t be coming home?

It’s so difficult to just sit back and let ONE person make this decision. I want to fight, I want to scream, I want to go to his office and beg him to believe that we CAN take care of him, we DO have the resources, we DO have the space for him, and we ARE his FAMILY. We love him, we want him, and we will do everything humanly possible to make sure that he never ever wants another thing, or needs anything for the rest of his life. He’ll have good doctors, and teachers, and I will advocate for him just as hard as I do for Joey to get him the accommodations that he will need to succeed in school. I will not allow anyone to diminish his ability to learn and live a full and happy life. We’ve already picked out clothes, and toys, and books. I have a new toothbrush and toothpaste for him. I chose a special teddy bear for him so that he’ll have a friend on the flight home. He has a special backpack, and new sheets for his very own bed. Here, at HOME.
We don’t have the money all together yet for our actual trip, but it WILL happen. It WILL.

There have been issues with several families lately. Paperwork issues in country, children being committed to and the family has to back out, people racing to get their dossiers in so that the child that they love and want isn’t “taken” by another family… it’s so scary. We haven’t even gotten that far. Our problems are here, in the US.

Please pray for us. Pray for Timothy. Pray for Officer Merck at the USCIS. I have to have faith that God wouldn’t bring us this far to snatch him away from us. There’s not much time… he is already 4…