The Joy of What Is...

This is probably not going to be the most popular blog post I’ve written.   I’m aware of other’s opinions.  I respect other’s opinions.  I am completely aware that MY opinion isn’t a popular one, and will likely cost me “friends”.  My thoughts on that are that we are adults. This is not Junior High.  I have opinions that some don’t share, and ya know what?  That’s OK with me.  Others have opinions and beliefs that I don’t agree with.  The key to keeping a friendship is respect.  I respect my friend’s opinions even if I don’t support them or believe the same thing they do.  That’s what being a friend is all about.

I actually thought all of this out and sent it in a message to someone earlier, but it’s pretty much what I wanted to say, so I copied and pasted it from that message (taking out any personal references of course) and adding some other things as well.

I cannot, with a clear conscience support Reece’s Rainbow anymore.  I know that my opinion about RR isn't popular. I also know that some of my friends are people who aren't "approved of" by the RR community. I'm not out to please everyone though, I've tried that, and I just can't keep up.

It would seem that those who support RR can't or won't be friends with anyone who questions RR.   In fact, when I was volunteering for RR, I was told point blank that I needed to decide where my “loyalties lie”, meaning with my friends, or with RR.   I had already decided to finish my “job” and walk away.  I didn’t want to leave anyone in a bad position.  Before I had a chance to do that though, I was locked out of the shared files that I needed to complete that job, no explanation and no questions.  Not very professional in my opinion.  

I know that part of being a Christian is to avoid even the appearance of impropriety and do my best to uphold that. Unfortunately, my interpretation of impropriety and other's seems to differ.

I have never, nor will I ever be the inventor of gossip or beginner of rumors about RR or anyone working with them.  Anything that I post/share has tons of proof to back it up. Unfortunately, there are some who refute the proof, even if it is in black and white, including Andrea herself.   For that I'm sorry.

I have NO power in the world of adoptions, if anything happens to family's processes, it was because the wheels have been turning for quite a while already and chances are, RR knew about it but chose to ignore the potential mess in hopes that no one would notice. Personally, I would never hurt a child's chance of being with their family, nor would I hurt a family by doing anything to jeopardize their process. I am still an advocate for the kids, and for the families, I just make sure that my donations go directly to them.

It is because of RR that Timothy is here. It is because I fell in love with his sweet little face in a photo that was on a website. I followed all of the RR rules. I didn't ask any questions throughout my whole adoption process. I believed everything that I was told about how things "work" in foreign countries. Our adoption seemed to be a pretty textbook case. For that I am thankful. I know that there are so so so many children who have come home, and are still being brought home through the advocates and supporters of RR, but there are questions that haven't been answered, and there are concerns that have only been addressed by the "delete" key, and the "un friend" command. That's not fair. It's not fair because anyone who asks or raises a concern is then "black balled" and called "anti RR", when in reality, all they did was expect an honest answer.   Andrea and others who work for her continue to defend RR, and promise that any questions will be answered, but beware, if it is a question that she doesn’t want to answer, she will likely ignore you, or delete your message as if you never left it.  She also tends to post veiled messages, and requests that people pray for her and against satan’s minions, those being anyone who dares to question her ethics, or motives. 

I have been “Unfriended” by many people over the course of the last few weeks.  I can handle that.  I can handle the emails, or messages from my friends telling me how disappointed they are in the opinion that I have, and the support that I show for people that they don’t approve of.  I can handle a conversation sharing my thoughts, and hearing their concerns.  I can handle agreeing to disagree.  There are things that might eventually come to light to change the minds of those who are so concerned.   

Unfortunately, in some cases the damage is done.  The hurt is there.  My heart has been broken by two people whom I thought were my friends.  Women that I supported, encouraged, prayed for, begged God to help me to help them, and thought were my friends.  Women who might have given up on their beautiful little one because of mountains that needed to be moved if not for the prayers of a few, including me.   No, I’m not having a God complex, I know that *I* am NOT God.  I know that His will would have been done with or without me.  But I am thankful that I was able to be a part of His plan. 

I know that God puts people into our lives for a season, and no matter how short that season might be, He knows when it is over.  My heart will heal.  The tears will dry.  And, in the end, the truth, no matter how hard it is to believe, will be revealed.