Of course, getting scrappy again means that my blog has been neglected. Sorry!!
School is going well for everyone. Timothy is back in Pre-school for now. He might end up in Kindergarten though, so we’ll see. Tomorrow is school picture day! I really need to take all of the kids and have a group pic done! Maybe I’ll call my photographer friend Amy and see if she wants a challenge… hehe
I have been thinking about this time last year. We were submitted on September 16 of last year. It’s hard to believe that we’re coming up on a year since we brought our boy home. When I see the changes in him since we met… it’s really unbelievable.
Today has been a day of thinking about “At this time 14 years ago… “ Today is Kati’s 14th Birthday. She was born at 10:42pm on Monday, September 22. I remember every detail of that day. I remember thinking that we would be a family of four before I went to sleep that night. I was right. Although, if you ask Sam VanDenburg, he would tell you that she was born in the “middle of the night”. Hehe
I’ve also been thinking about a day only two short years ago. I remember every detail of that day too, but not because it was Kati’s 12th Birthday. I remember the day two years ago because it was the last day my Dad was alive. He really wasn’t “there” that day, but he didn’t pass until 1:40 am on the 23rd. That last day though, he was moved to Hospice house. He had been disconnected from all of his tubes and wires. He only had his oxygen, which he had had 24 hrs a day for a while before that. He looked so peaceful, and so “normal”. We took the kids to visit him so they could see that he was peaceful. They got to talk to him, and let him know that they loved him without all the trauma of the hospital.
The nurses and I convinced Mom to go home and get some rest, shower, whatever. . She left around 8. I sat with Dad alone, I had the TV on to NCIS. I chit chatted just like I would have if he was watching too Kati had been with her friend Kelsi and her Mom for the evening, they brought her to me at Hospice House so she could visit with Grandpa for a bit too. She told him about her day, and reminded him that it was her 12th Birthday. We all knew it wouldn’t be long before we lost him, but I had hoped all day that it wouldn’t happen on her Birthday. Before we left, I leaned over and told him that it was ok to go if he needed to, and that I would take care of Mom and not to worry about her, but if he could please wait a few hours until Kati’s Birthday was over. As we left, I told him we’d come back the next day and we went home.
At 1:38 am the phone rang, it was Mom telling me that they had called from Hospice, he was fading pretty quickly. I told John as I was getting up and putting on my clothes in the dark… even in his sleepy state, he thought enough to note the time and said, “It’s not the 22nd anymore”.
On the way to Hospice that morning, I turned on the radio and the last part of the song “Toes” by Zac Brown Band was playing…
“Adios and via con Dios
Going home now to stay
I'm just gonna drive up by the lake
And put my ass in a lawn chair, toes in the clay
Not a worry in the world, a PBR on the way
Life is good today, life is good today”
I knew then that he was gone, even before I got to HH. I had to laugh… in his day, Dad drank a lot of PBR(Pabst Blue Ribbon beer)… and we spent a lot of time sitting outside in lawn chairs… but the words fit so well… Goin home now to stay…
When I got there, they told us that he was gone. Probably about the same time I was listening to those words…
I remember all of the details of that day… up to that point… I remember calling my sister and brother and them coming too. John came too. We all took a little while to just be together. I don’t remember what time we left, but I wanted to be home before the kids woke up. I wanted to be there to tell them.
So, while 14 years ago tonight I was celebrating the birth of my first daughter and a new chapter of our lives, two years ago tonight I was saying goodbye to my Dad and another new chapter of our lives was beginning.
I miss him. More than I ever imagined I would. I miss his laugh. And, silly as it will sound, I miss his cough/clearing his throat. LOL I miss the way he called me “Sis” even as an adult. I wonder what he would think of Timothy. I miss the relationship that he had with Olivia (they were buddies). I wonder what he would say about how things have been within our family this last year. I can almost hear him…
At the end he would fade in and out of being coherent. In one of his more lucid times, John was with him, and he asked John to pray with him. I know that someday we’ll see him again, and that helps but the sadness is still there… I miss him. I wish I could just talk to him one more time.
I promise to post pics tomorrow!! :)
my dad went home in January1995, I was fortunate to be with him, telling him I loved him and that it was ok to go......I still miss him....but he is always with me in my heart......hugs......and happy birthday to Katie!
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