As I sit here…

The little kids are in bed, and the older two are reading and listening to music and I have Miss Clairol doing her magic on my hair (it take 2 boxes since it’s so thick and long!) for the next 45ish minutes, so I thought, “why not blog?”. 

Of course that leads me to the question what to write about?  LOL 

I finished my second year as a Summer Enrichment teacher last week.  It was fun, the kids were all so creative and sweet.  Last year I did it for the extra money that we could put toward our adoption expenses.  This year I thought I’d save the money.  Until the dishwasher died!  So, a new dishwasher it is!  I’m very happy about that though.  Hehe   The second half of the money will be used to get the kids school supplies and shoes, clothes, undies, etc for school. 

I remember this time last year having to hold myself back from buying any of the cute little boy clothes I saw because we were in USCIS  hell limbo.  It seems like yesterday, but also like it was so long ago. 

I am so thankful that God has provided for us by filling up my daycare again.  The months after we brought Timothy home were so financially difficult, we got behind on several bills, but there really was nothing we could do.  God did provide for us, we didn’t go without food on the table, or a roof over our heads, or our other luxuries like power, internet, water… hehe  But there were no extras and I learned to make the groceries stretch faaaaaar.  These were good lessons to put back into practice though, so I am not complaining.   God knew that we needed the time to bond with Timothy, and for him to get used to having other kids around (we still had two families even through the tough months who stuck it out) who would only be here for the day and then leave.  It’s funny, now he tries to sneak out the door with them!  Hmmm… ok, maybe that’s not really funny… hehe

The truth is, things with Timothy aren’t the fairytale that some people think.  Yes, we are growing and bonding and our family is so much stronger because of our little guy.   The problems aren’t really his “fault”, and we all know that and have to remember that even on the days that we have to take something away for the 4,983^rd time.  Before you roll your eyes and say “Just get used to it, he’s a boy, he’s been “locked up” for his whole life”, etc. read on.  I have been around a LOT of kids in my life, and have NEVER met any as active as him.  

He has to be supervised 110% of the time.  There is no “letting” him play in the bedroom, or go potty alone.  He won’t sit and “read” books, or watch tv, or play a game, or play with playdough, or color a picture, or do a puzzle(either alone or with the group).  He is constantly hitting, throwing, turning off the tv, grabbing things (telephone, remote, toys from other kids), or if the others are playing, he will disrupt by messing up the game, or taking something that they are playing with, etc.  He has NO impulse control, and even when he gets in trouble it really has no effect on him to put him in time out (which is really someone holding him because he will not sit still for one minute much less the 3-5 that his age suggests).  He is fast.  He will swoop in and grab things he knows he isn’t supposed to mess with and run and laugh as you are chasing him down to get it back.   Which is another thing completely, he is a “runner” so I have to keep the doors locked, which is hard with daycare, there are people needing to come in and out.

It’s not that he isn’t getting enough play time, or one on one time with us or other stimulation because someone is constantly with him, trying to get him to engage in something besides getting into things.  Although, I will admit that sometimes toward the end of the day, we are just sitting holding him out of sheer exhaustion so we won’t have to chase him down again.  So, the “negative” interaction isn’t the only attention he is getting.    I will admit though that it is really frustrating to try to play with him most times because he just grabs and throws things.  The other kids have pretty much stopped trying because it always ends up the same.    

His sleep is crazy too.  We have been using melatonin since we’ve been home, almost constantly, just to get him to nap and sleep at night.  Nap usually lasts about an hour, and we put him to bed around 8pm and he is up within five minutes of me at 5am.   I miss being able to get up and brush my teeth, do my morning business, and shower before having to face the day.   Maybe that’s selfish, but it was the ONLY time I have totally alone, and now it’s gone.  I do the house chores after he is in bed because trying to do anything while he is awake is futile.   I won’t even tell you about how he is at mealtime (grabbing others’ plates, drinks, silverware, napkins, hitting anyone sitting close enough with his fork/spoon, pushing his plate so that he knocks over full cups... )... Oh, I guess I just did. 

We all love him but we do miss the “freedom” of being able to cook, clean, go to the bathroom, and sleep, without wondering “Where’s Timothy?”. 

Please don’t take this as a post about me wishing we had never brought him home because it is absolutely the furthest thing from the truth.  We all love him so much, and even though it is like living with a lit firecracker,  we are all so happy that he is a part of our family (just don’t ask us if we agree with that statement at the end of the day hehehe). 

If I let myself think of where he would be right now if he wasn’t here, it makes my heart scream.  The life that he might have had would have broken his spirit.   They wouldn’t have had the time, patience, or staff that he would have needed since he is so active.  Do you know what that would have meant?  I’ll tell you, it would have meant that once they figured out that he is a crazy little monkey, they would have tied him to a crib.  They would have tethered him to the chair at mealtimes.  He probably wouldn’t have been taken outside because there he would have tried to run, and they don’t have time for that.    Once he finally gave up fighting to get out, I have no doubt that he would have given up all together.  He would have become one of the sad statistics instead of one of the happy ones. 

And, no worries, we have an appointment with the Ds doc on the 26^th, so she’ll be evaluating him closely to determine if he indeed has ADHD (as the specialists suspected when we saw them last week!).  She is one of the top docs in the nation when it comes to children with dual diagnosis of Down syndrome and ADD/ADHD so I am very confident that we’ll get some answers soon.  

If not, maybe a Velcro wall for the time outs?  Hehe  Just kidding… sort of…